Ok

Bill is right, I apoligize. No more rants.

Enough Already!

Two owners going back and forth insulting one another is not going to solve anything. Everyone knows there has been problems with the site. Tom is very aware of this and is working to fix it. Be patient and most of all be civil.

Commishioner

Bud, if Tom is the commishioner then let him be the commish, it sounds to me like you are running things. Who chose the rules? Who chose the stat service? Who has said no to suggested changes or improvements? Will you answer any of these questions? Probably not. You have not answered many of my questions in prior rants. Instead u turn it around and make me out to have the problem. Why dont u answer my questions? Please go back and read my prior rants and answer those questions. Well, maybe I do have problems but that is my concern not yours. Your concern as C0-commisioner is getting this league running right not my mental health. Is it supposed to frighten me that you are being so controlled in your responses to my rants? What is that supposed to mean? A threat? That makes me laugh. As for the homophobe statement, that really makes me laugh. I could care less what anyones sexuality is. But I would rather not have it pushed in my face with photos of beefcake shots like u posted. Keep those on your bedroom walls. You make a statement about that but "mum is the word when someone else on this site is throwing around racist words and ideas"? Now excuse me while I go watch sesame street. By the way what is a preposition? You are a funny dude!!

ESPN problems

BUD, in reference to ESPN, they refunded all money back to participants when they had problems this year. Is the stat/league service you chose refunding our leagues money? Can u even get in touch with the guy? ESPN sent daily emails letting participants know what was going on. All I got from you was half naked pictures of Pat Burrell. When I was in the military we had a "dont ask, dont tell policy". Lets try that here. GEORGE STEINBOKINA

grandstanding

Frank (otherwise known as BUD) its not grandstanding or whining when its true. Your skipping along with your ridiculous posts like nothing is wrong when so far there's been a ton of shit wrong. It gets frustrating when you are running this league like you are king and all the other owners are a bunch of court jesters. Part of me is actually starting to get some satisfaction at watching things screw up because I know its all you to blame. I dont know you so I dont give a shit in saying what I believe is true. I dont know why the other owners aren't complaining. Maybe its because they are friends and dont want to hurt your obviously very sensitive feelings. But then again maybe they are. You wouldnt tell anyone if they were because this is a perfect league, right? BUD, take the constructive criticism while the league can still be fixed. As for not going to you or Tom directly, I have gone to Tom and he knows and has known exactly how I feel. The reason I am blogging these thoughts is because I am wondering if anyone else feels the same way. Like I said maybe its just me, but I have been told its not just me. I think thats why an important email is coming out Friday or Saturday. I look forward to your response where you will use big words with references to garbage I could care less about and to be honest half the time don't even understand. Please, BUD use those big words so you show how much smarter you are than all of us courtjesters. I implore you, listen to others and fix the league. I know Tom has put a ton of work into this and alot of heart and soul, don't ruin it by being stubborn. Your pal, GEORGE STEINBOKINA (a dumb polish kid from dumb polish farmers just trying to run a fantasy baseball team)

Bad Mojo

Missed this, probably because I had other things on my mind, but at least we're not alone in the fantasy universe. Not that it makes anyone feel better. Must be something in the water at La Rotisserie Francaise.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It might just be me, but the web-site that is supposed to be keeping track of our league stats and scores is not showing up-to-date scores and stats for our current two week scoring period. Is this just a rough period or this a season long problem? Frank your blogs are "cute" and "creative" but how about some up-to-date information on the status of what the hell is going on with the stat web site. I apoligize in advance if its just me not knowing how to utilize the web site, but I am getting FRUSTRATED. Maybe its because I started Dimitri Young instead of Prince Fielder this period. Signed A Frustrated, concerned Owner.

Pat the Bat

Another Philly story, but I had to pass this along. From Deadspin.com:

The biggest jolt to the Phillies lineup this year, however, has to be Pat Burrell's engagement. The stories of Burrell's swordsmanship are legendary in the Philadelphia area. You can't bump into somebody within a 50-mile radius of Philadelphia who doesn't have a story. They all start the same: At a club, usually involving a 20-something stunner sidling up at the bar, then, enter ... the Bat. Next thing you know, she's got herself box seats behind home plate and is hanging out with Burrell and Jason Michaels 'til 4 a.m. doing kamikaze shots down the Jersey Shore. One friend-of-a-friend story included Pat leaving her a present the next day after one drunken libidinous night with The Bat -- his Valtrex. But an even more vintage Bat story is this second-hand gem:

The story goes: A few guys were on a business trip in Pittsburgh. A couple of the guys knew the Phils were in town, so when they all spotted Burrell at a club there one night, it wasn't a total surprise. Pat ended up taking a liking to one of the girls in their group. She thought he was hot but didn't follow baseball. He took her back to his hotel room, and a make-out session ensued until she alerted Pat that she would NOT do him. Not fazed by this, Burrell seemed to respect her chastity, and rather than force himself on her or fly into a blueball rage, he asked a simple question, glancing down at his engorged pants: "Mind if I take care of business?"

The horrified woman didn't stay the night, letting Pat, take care of his business on his own.

First Couple of Philadelphia

If anyone's interested, here's a pic of the loving couple.

It's the City of Brotherly Love--no one ever said anything about wives. Ben Franklin was a swinging bachelor, after all.

Philly-Shaolin Swish Players

The trade pistons are pumping as the Empire has struck again acquiring 1B/OF Nick Swisher and RP Jorge Julio from the Kane Nines for new RP Brett Myers and 3B Adrian Beltre. The long-haired playboy slugger (left, scoring) adds much needed thump to the Shaolin offense, while Myers gives Philly another Phillie to cry over up close and personal. When asked to comment on his new employer, Myers declined to comment before returning to beating his wife.

Huge Trade (At Least Half the Trade)

In a late night deal that will not immediately impact either team, the Coram Crushers and the Shaolin Empire swapped injured Cy Young winners, Bartolo Colon and Pedro Martinez. Colon, who can by now fit 2 Pedros and 1 Ramon Martinez in his pant leg, celebrated the news by eating his agent.

SLANDER!!! RACISM!!!

Am emergency message from the GM of the Bay Ridge Wopdagos:

As you all know, Don Imus was fired last night by CBS radio for his use of the phrase "nappy-headed hos" on the radio in describing the women's (used loosely since they would kick the crap of lil' whitey me) Rutgers basketball team. This was all because of the Reverend Al Sharpton and his use of the airwaves and media outlets (fucking n***er, fill in the stars.)

It has come to the attention of the general manager that there has been another use of slander and racism in describing this team, the Bay Ridge Wopdagos. In describing what the Bay Ridge Wopdagos should use to boost their lineup, the reference to "braicola" is slanderish and racist and unfounded. No one on the Bay Ridge Wopdagos has "braicola" to swing, since all are non-Italian.

Hence forth, these are the Bay Ridge Wopdagos' demands:

1. Changing of "braicola" to the more appropriate term, "sausage"

2. Damages in the sum of $25 (people need money to go out tonight)

3. A group of 26 beautiful women so that on the next road trip the Bay Ridge Wopdagos has, they are there to provide services to these faithful men.

To the commissioner: Please see that these demands are met otherwise I will have to get Rev. Al Sharpton on your ass like he did with Tawana Brawley (lying nappy-headed ho.)

Thank you and good night,
The general manager of the Bay Ridge Wopdagos

The NFSL Family Gets Bigger

All our best to Kane Nine owner Neal Kane and his Philly filly, Michele, on the birth of their 2nd son Michael Lawrence Kane.

Lil' MLK popped out on Friday, April 6, at 7:09 am and tipped the scales at 6 lbs. 4 oz.

Unfortunately, he is not eligible for this check.

Message from the GM of the Swashbucklers

wow. we suck.

Message from the GM of the Bay Ridge Wopdagos

As we can see, we are in our first full matchup of the year, and it feels good knowing that my players are performing exactly the way that we needed them to. I feel that our team is sending the right message out to all the other teams in the league that if you do not have the offensive firepower that we have, you will have a tough time in beating us. The long understanding that pitching wins championships was thought of by someone that never played fantasy baseball. As shown by this early matchup, pitching means nothing, hitting is everything.

On that note, it is time to welcome our newest pitchers, Antonio Alfonseca, Brandon Backe, Mike DeJean, and some other guy...welcome to the team and here is your complementry hair gel...

As Gino the Ginny would say, "They're pumping the mega mix"

In other news, the Wopdagos are sad to say that they have lost a tremendous member to their organization. I am not at liberty to say who this person is due to a gag order imposed by my lawyers.

All players (even the tremendous offensive lineup that I impose at will against you all) are on the block and trade offers will be reviewed and weighed.

Thank you.

10 yrs experience ??

Recently it was uncovered that the Westphalia Sheperds Owner Eric'Chatta Box" Bokina lied on his res'ume when he bragged of having 10 years experience in fantasy. An alert investigative reporter uncovered that in fact Bokina is a ROOKIE to fantasy !!!---After reviewing the information the commisioner has put Bokina on a 1 year probation period during which time he must not tell another FIB !---When the commisioner was asked why Bokina wasn't expelled from the league he replied "Mr. Bokina was a military Officer and therefore I feel he will eventually contribute to this league."

Fire Sale?

Big Papi and Chone are on the block and the Ducks are hearing all offers?

In a recent interview, Ducks Manager Emmanuel Lewis stated that the team was going to have to make some wholesale changes in the immediate future, and didn't rule out the possibility of anyone on the team being traded. "We've gotta get better, and quick." Said Lewis. "You can't win without pitchers, and right now, it seems all of ours are on the DL, and we've got some major holes to fill. It reminds me of when Ma'am and George Papodopolous gave me a new bike, but I didn't know how to ride it. I had to learn quick!"

In other news, the Ducks named Billy Ripken their new Hitting Coach. Ripken, better known as "Fu*k Face" for his 1989 Fleer Card, said "I'm happy to be here. If we could only get some arms, we might have a chance."

Mookie!

A recent phone conversation between Mookie Wilson and Preston Wilson.

ROSTER MOVES

I know i'm new to this but some things i just don't understand. If i have a player under contract and am paying him, why can't i send him to the minors and retain my rights to him since i'm still obligated to pay him. Also, if i release him and another team picks him up at a new salary, why is his old team obligated to pay his full salary, why isn't the new teams salary deducted from his original salary. I know this may be a bookeeping problem but you have to carry his original salary after he is dropped whether he is picked up by a new team or not. Anyone else have any thoughts on this? bmulli- REDS

Check 1: Free Agency

The first free agent bidding went very well. Thanks to everyone for submitting their bids as requested and making the process go as smoothly as possible. We may be able to submit free agent bids thru the Web site next time, but we'll get back to you about that.

Okay, on to the bids. Surprisingly, only 1 player received multiple bids: new hotshot shortstop Tony Pena. His new NFSL home? Coram . The Crushers won his rights with a bid of $2 million for 3 years. (New Libertatia's bid was $.25/1)

Everyone else got who they wanted:

Bay Ridge:
Antonio Alfonseca .25/1 (Doug Mientkiewicz released)
Mike DeJean .25/1 (Reggie Abercrombie released)
Brandon Backe .25/1 (Cesar Izturis released)
Kyle Lohse (Mark Kotsay released)

Coram:
Tony Pena 2.00/3 (Bartolo Colon on DL)

New Libertatia:
Jose Bautista .50/1 (John Grabow on DL)
Alejandro de Aza .50/1 (Freddy Sanchez on DL)
Mike Stanton .25/1 (Carlos Quentin on DL)

Ninth Street:
Juan Salas .75/1 (Jose Capellan released)
Joakim Soria .75/1 (Brandon League released)

North Babylon:
Matt Morris .50/1 (Matt Clement on DL)

Riverhead:
Robinson Tejada .50/2 (Josh Johnson on DL)

Setauket:
Brian Bruney .25/1 (Taylor Tankersley on DL)

Shaolin:
Randy Wolf .25/1 (Pedro Martinez on DL)


Mike will send out an updated spreadsheet.

Louie where r u?

U may be on to something.