A message from the GM of the Bay Ridge Wopdagos

A meesage from the GM of the Bay Ridge Wopdagos

It's been a while since a press release came out, so it's time for one. And no, this has nothing to do with the latest power rankings that have come out (we'll get to those also.)

This has to do with the latest incident involving one of our superstars, third baseman Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod to the little folk.) The New York Post is reporting today that he was photographed entering a strip club in Toronto with an unidentified blonde woman. Apparently, this woman in the photo is not his wife, but a white-trash whore (can I say whore? Sure...why not?) for likes it both ways. Of course, there is no complaint if a woman goes both ways from this general manager (as long as I get to videotape it.) Here in the general manager's office, while we do not agree with his actions, understand that it is his choice to go get some. We wish him well and hope he doesn't pull a Kobe.

The power rankings that have just came out has irked the office and sparked interest (in what, I don't know.) It is amazing that this team has been able to put together a powerhouse team on such little pitching talent. The fact that the league keeps overlooking this fact and harps on this team having Rodriguez only is troublesome. How can you forget the reigning American League MVP, Justin Morneau? After a brief slump, he has gone back to completely and utterly destroying the ball. And before he went on the DL, the STEAL (self thinking) of the draft, Shawn Hill? What he doesn't have in record (I blame the Nats), he makes up in ERA, K's, WHIP, etc.

With Jon Lester on the horizon and Howie Kendrick back to his old dominant .OPB ways, this team will be a formiable one to deal with. I hope that everyone in my division (yes, you read that right, MY DIVISION) will be prepared to be slug it out.

In other news, the Bay Ridge Wopdagos would like to announce that they are currently looking to trade Juan Pierre. Pierre was quoted as saying, "Ryan Church is better then me? YIKES! GET ME OFF THIS TEAM!" E-mail the team office for any interest.

Thanks and regards,
the GM of the Bay Ridge Wopdagos

Power Rankings II

1. Simpsonville (Last Ranking: 4)

• The double spark of the return of co-owner Mike Trudeau from the backwoods of Georgia and the awakened bat of David Wright have shot this team to the top of the heap. And they still don't have Joe Mauer back.
  

2. Setauket (5)

• Torii Hunter turning it up and looking like a late-round steal. But if they're going to hold on to first place, it's going to come down to the golden arm of Brian Bruney.
  

3. Nassau (3)

• Hanging steady in the 3 spot, and with a 16.5 game lead they may just take the rest of the summer off. But remember, half the playoff stats will be cumulative, so let up at your own risk.
  

4. Westphalia (10)

• Forget the wild card, the Shepherds are stalking the Horde for the Gibson crown--which would look at home on Prince's head.
  

5. Ninth Street (1)

• Slipped 4 spots and, more importantly, 6 behind the Slayers. Giambi's verbal implosion not helping an already tense clubhouse.
  

6. Hampton Bay (2)

• After a mini-slump (and some maxi-whining), the Bambinos turn it up just in time for the Rankings. Just check out their pretty mug at the top of the League web page.
  

7. Shaolin (6)

• Although ranked 2nd in the YTD point totals, they continue to just under-perform enough. Bats starting to come alive led by Nick Swisher.
  

8. Bay Ridge (7)

• Looking like the Doby is going to go back and forth all year. Come crunch time, putting all their eggs in ARod's basket may not be the best strategy.
  

9. Mattituck (8)

• The forgotten division leader, just sort of hanging in there despite no one really stepping up as a team leader. Billy Butler was ready yet, but Manny's bat is waiting in the shadows to join Magglio.
  

10. Pequash (18)

• Number 10 with a bullet. Hot off a big win last week, they're hot on Mattituck's heels as the Paige might turn into a dogfight down the stretch.
  

11. New Libertatia (14)

• The kids are alright. The baby Swashbucklers are aiming for a seat at the adult table this fall. And keep in mind, they do have Johan Santana.
  

12. Philadelphia (9)

• A tub-thumping by the New Lib and the injury to new closer Brett Myers don't making for a festive 3-day weekend in the City of Brotherly Love. Don't be surprised if another trade is already in the works.

13. Browntown (15)

14. Riverhead (12)

• The Reds are trying, but still haven't been able to fit all their pieces together. The Thome injury hurts and the Encarnacion demotion didn't help. When will the Rocket launch?
  

15. Ridge (20)

• Fifteen may not look like much, but considering where they were last time it's time for them to pop the cork on the Cold Duck. The trade for Zito shows their still in it to win it.
  

16. Laurel (13)

• The Commish still treading water. We all know he has a nefarious plan up his sleeve, but when will he unleash it? Maybe he's waiting to grow in his villainous mustache so he can twirl it and laugh maniacally in our faces? Or not.
  

17. Kohler (11)

• Recent 10-2 loss to St. Olaf says it all. Pujols still making $19 million.
  

18. North Babylon (16)

• The future is now as top 2 prospects Lincecum and Braun up in the big leagues. Still not counting out team with Sheffield, Wells, and Ichiro in the OF.
  

19. St. Olaf (19)

• Despite numbers from Vlad, Jeter, Youkilis, Marquis, and Verlander, they're living up to their name and stinking.
  

20. Coram (17)

• They must be naughty boys because they keep getting spanked.
  

You Dead, Dawg

According to the St. Pete Times, everyone's favorite psychotic rookie, Elijah Dukes, is, well, as psychotic as ever. Seriously, as naive as it sounds, it still amazes me how consistently athletes can avoid jail time. Here's a link to the full article.

Dukes' wife, NiShea Gilbert, 26, a teacher at Beth Shields Middle School in Ruskin, told the court in another filing Thursday that her husband threatened to kill her and sent a photo of a handgun to her cell phone.

Here's the voice mail message he left his wife:

• "Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain't even bulls-------. Your kids too, dawg. It don't even matter to me who is in the car with you. N-----, all I know is, n-----, when I see your m-----f------- a-- riding, dawg, it's on. As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your m-----f------ house."

Power Report Hi-Jinx

In the innagural season of the NFSL every week has been a new experience. Some good & some well.....Let's move on. Out of all the bitching & complaining about sometimes petty stuff, I got a real legitimate complaint.

Those power reports you put out last week Frank were the equvalent to the Sports Illustrated Jinx. When you pissed off the Ridge Ducks, you woke a sleeping Big Papi & crew. Those guys cleaned the field with me.

Please I implore you put ME at the bottom this week. Maybe Ryan fat ass Howard & Alex pretty boy Gordon will start hitting the damn ball.

Maybe my 58 HR guy goin on the Dl with the rest of my scrubs aint such a bad thing. I keep sitting Overbay & he's the only healthy guy in the entire Toronto organization.

Another thing, someone let me know when my back-up catcher is gonna put up tremendous stats again so I could start him.

Damn it I hate that.

Power Rankings

1. Ninth Street Nine

• Faith in Barry has paid off, but it's the kids like Rich Hill and Kelly Johnson leading the Grandmaster of Fantasy's comeback tour.

2. Hampton Bay Bambinos

• Surprise of the young season. 3/4 of his rotation on the DL? Ryan Howard and #1 overall draft pick Alex Gordon taking the month off? Who cares as long as Slammin Sammy's in the lineup.

3. Nassau Chin Music

• Loss of top prospect Phil Hughes a downer, but Jose Reyes and a lights out bullpen have opened up a huge 11 game lead.

4. Simpsonville Slayers

• Lackey and Haren pulling David Wright's weight so far, but loss of Joe Mauer has to hurt in the cut-throat Cool Papa Bell Division.

5. Setauket Horde

• Jimmy Rollins is tearing it up and everyone else is doing a little bit of everything.
  

6. Shaolin Empire

• Overall stats impressive, but tough match-ups taking their toll.
  

7. Bay Ridge Wapdagos

• A-Rod proving to be most underpaid player in league as he's carried team to tie for first in tight Doby.

8. Mattituck Natives

• Ted Lilly and Josh Beckett have been aces on the mound. Only a matter of time before farm stud Billy Butler is entrenched in OF.

9. Philadelphia Kane Nines

• The most active front office in the league pulled off what may be the coup of the year: JJ Hardy for Sean Casey.

10. Westphalia Shepherds

• Top pick Chris Young playing almost exactly as expected, showing power and speed and a low average.
  

11. Kohler Toilet

• Three words: Pujols is coming.

12. Riverhead Red Streaks

• Pulled the trigger for Chipper. Now needs to light a fire under everyone else.
  

13. Laurel Leathernecks

• Josh Hamilton has been an amazing story...oh, who are we kidding--did you see Dice-K's last start?

14. New Libertatia Swashbucklers

• While waiting for next year, this year doesn't look so far out of reach. Will they make a move or hold course?

15. Browntown Fudge Dragons

16. North Babylon Generals

• Really not a bad team. Still time for big money guys to step up. Team to watch.

17. Coram Crushers

• Offense was a question mark, but really hurt by Mariano Rivera and Carlos Zambrano's slow starts and that BJ Ryan injury really stings.

18. Pequash Panthers

• If only they had Brad Hawpe they might be 17th on the list.

19. St. Olaf Dutch Ovens
20. Ridge Ducks

• Two teams, four owners, a combined 38 games back. But, it's only May. Walk it off.